Testimonies of Silent Pain

The Social Architects of Colombo had organised a book launch yesterday.  “Testimonies of Pain” is a collection of stories in Sinhala and Tamil by people who lived the pain and agony of a protracted conflict. The war is over, but the conflict still lingers.

This collection is a ‘marriage between feelings and facts’ as one of the speakers said.

Listening to all the speakers, I could only guess the unfathomable pain that made ordinary people write extraordinary stories so deeply. Some of them never wrote either before or after. But they just wrote the stories they chose to tell; because they had to. Life's experiences do make people think and do things they never thought they were capable of.

The pain of a minority dominated by a majoritarian state and the perceived discrimination and marginalization meted out to the minority. The colossal destruction of war and the lives lost. Opportunities missed. Smiles stolen. Festering wounds. Haunting memories. All these, I gathered were in this collection, for which I will need a translation in English to grasp. But, I saw and felt the passion with which people spoke.  I heard Dharmasiri Bandaranayake – a leading playwright and film maker – speak with regret and remorse of how a community lost its collective conscience, battered by war.  How policies got shaped by parochialism, how art lost its due place to connect hearts and minds.  Because, it was all politics and war that had dominated many decades in Sri Lanka.

The cultural interludes in the ceremony by young artists were refreshing.  A Eastern Sri Lanka dance form that looked like an all-male version of Dandiya was interesting for its lack of perfection and background rendition by a very old man. His broken voice and forced breathing gave a raw authenticity to the art form. His rendition reminded me of the singing and chanting of Dervish dancers I saw in Sudan, who drive thousands to a Suphi ecstasy, every Friday in a mosque, until the sun went down. Clad in colorful gowns, the whirling performers would drown themselves in what would look like a union of spiritual ecstasy and unbridled emotions.

 

A short play directed by Dharmasiri Bandaranayake reflected a ghastly incident that took place in the heart of Colombo a few years back, where a mentally challenged young Tamil boy was beaten to death in sea, until as the footage showed, his blood mixed with the greyish-blue waters of the ocean.  A stark reminder of how things were as bad, and a much stronger reminder that time has come to heal and move forward.

The young bhajan singers from Mylapur, Chennai, just gave a slice of Chennai Carnatic bhajans. Energetic. Voice controlled. Even a beat was not missed.

Yes, She Bobbitised. A Simple,Young, Kerala Woman.

Two days ago, a young woman in Kerala bobbitised a local godman, in an act of self-defense and vengeance. Castration is thus no more a hyperbole in Kerala; it just got real. This incident could be just a beginning; a warning.

The 23 year old brave woman, a victim of the self-proclaimed Swamy’s rape spree for 5-6 years had remained silent all these years. What is even more shocking is that the victim’s own mother had been conniving with him to abuse her daughter. The mother had been a ‘devotee’ of this Swamy – that kind of devotion that ended in bed, you see.

 I am unable to even exclaim. Period.

The doctors in the State capital saved the life of the godman who is recuperating, still clad in saffron in his hospital bed. The saffron is still important to him.

While the girl is being lauded by several, including the Chief Minister of the State, it would be interesting to see the legal implications that the girl may have to face.  Will she be protected by the law? I would be interested to know that, as this could set the precedence.

 With increasing sexual abuses, the criminal laws had been amended, much greater awareness has been generated among the public, and girls have become stronger. Yet, the abuse continues. Why? To put it simplistically, even at the cost of sounding too general,  only women and girls seemed to have changed, not men.

Probably it is high time and the right time to take a step back and consolidate our thinking, while protests, reactions and subsequent mass responses can continue. All these years, we have taught our girls to ‘behave,’ ‘protect,’ ‘conform’ ‘adjust,’ ‘dress appropriate,’ ‘sit properly,’ and such endless list of must-and-musn’t dos – all because there is a predator out there, waiting to pounce on her. What do we tell our boys? What expectations do we have of them? What do we tell our men?  

Time for a paradigm shift? Gender sensitization, still largely focuses on women. We continue to talk to women how to protect / how to remain safe. While this is absolutely fundamental to bring out any positive change or impact, this does not complete the nexus between abuse and protection, as the abusers or prospective abusers are still largely kept out of this discourse.  It has to encompass boys, at a very early stage in their development. What if we include gender studies as a subject in schools from upper primary level? What if we change the gender stereotyping in lower primary text books (sometimes with graphic descriptions too)? What if we teach the need to not objectify women?  Possible? Plausible to break away from patriarchy?  At least five generations from now?

This is also the interesting part. Kerala brags itself to be a good trendsetter on HDI levels.  It is a literate state; the leftist legacy has empowered women.  

Quite coincidentally, just last week I read an article and watched a Ted video and thought that the records sure are impressive.  This Ted Talk even says Washington DC is not as healthy as Kerala: (https://www.ted.com/talks/hans_rosling_asia_s_rise_how_and_when
And the article expressed "16 reasons we need to acknowledge that Kerala has always been killing it." The 16 points covered laudable indicators of HDI and several other socio-economic milestones reached ((https://www.buzzfeed.com/andreborges/16-reasons-we-need-to-acknowledge-that-kerala-has-always-bee?utm_term=.qlVWLQmEL&sub=4480366_10686334#.io7OzxpVz)).

This is all true. But there is more to it than meets the eye. Or the statistics.

 Women still suffer from sexual assaults. Something is not connecting.  With all the leading indicators, we still cannot effectively ensure safety of our women and girls. We still cannot terminate those vulgar looks and comments in public places. Whatever measures taken - either through law or activism seem woefully inadequate. It seems that we can respect a woman only when she is housed in a temple in the form of goddess Durga. Incredible for a place that God is supposed to have chosen to call its own.