"To be or not to be..." Is That the Question?

After my voice was replaced by laboured puffs of air for 3-4 days continuously due to cough and cold, I started hearing my voice just a couple of days ago. I diligently postponed sitting down to pen many a wanton thought that obliquely passed my mind during the voiceless phase.

Nature had decided to cry her heart out – incessantly; sometimes aggressively, and more silent some other times – but she was crying… heavy down pour; all the time. Ideal to stay put and go under the quilt and fantasize that you are in the bone-freezing cold of the Himalayas, where, in reality, you are facing the out-of-character weather pattern in the tropics. Ahem!

A few days back, I went out to watch a movie with my cousin (more a brother in spirit; children of siblings of the same gender, we say are brothers and sisters and not cousins) and some of his friends. All the tickets for the balcony were sold out; we decided to take a chance and charged in, on the assumption that we will scoot off if the place was too bad. We got the fourth or the fifth row from the massive screen! Was not too bad in comparison to the first 3D film that I went to watch with my brother and sister – My dear Kuttichathan- where we ran faster than convicts on a police chase to catch a bus (which we missed and a auto-bus-walking- combination was tried), and were presented with three tickets in the very first row - some good 25 years back, or more!

I had no idea, what this film was about, or could do to me for several days after, when I settled in the chair, with a packet of popcorn in hand. After a very long time, got to watch a good Malayalam movie – ‘Cocktail,’ which was free from dancing around the trees, or where the actors/actresses changed clothes at the drop of a hat. One set of clothes for all concerned – it was the story of a day. Nice suspense maintained right throughout. The movie, I am told, is based on “The butterfly on the wheel.”

More than the technicalities of the film, which critics may write about, I wish to share my own thoughts…

The movie was a timely release, would have left most viewers with heaps to mull over, contemplate, question, challenge, re-live, correct… and a lot more. I could sense the tension in the air … and for me personally, it gave more than one reason to debate the frequently contested question in own mind – can an extra marital relation be understood? Pardoned?

Relationships, affairs, one-night /time stands – the different names we have for a man-woman rendezvous!

Does putting a ring in a finger or signing a paper necessarily keep marriages sanctified as expected? Is marriage an outdated concept? Is it a sustainable institution? Are human beings essentially monogamous? if they are not, why marry and expect them to stay that way? Aren’t there relationships that reach beyond the realm of marriage? Are all such relationships for carnal desires only? Don’t people fall in love too? When such a relationship becomes one that of sharing, is it wrong? When it gives a reason to hope, inspire, create and sail through tough times, can it be justified? Where does one draw the line?

Am not a moral pundit. Not a Thought Police either. An avid student of life. An observer. Have become that over the years. There are times I feel, there is no right or wrong. But again, there are … aren’t there? Just because something becomes a trend, a habit, it does not become the right thing; it can be an exception than the rule.

But human minds are such that we look for what is not… is that it? People do not get attracted to others not necessarily because they love their partners less? Nevertheless, it is hurtful for the other person concerned if it is known – so should it be kept under wraps to avoid that pain? Then does it become right...?

I personally believe we human beings are hypocrites – only varying in degrees; We wish to conform; at the same time we do not like the idea either. Some dare and take the path less travelled; others live within the circle of norms stipulated by God knows who and had been in place over centuries, lived through the epics, holocaust, the Plague, the recessions and still continues to guide, give some form of direction … So are they not correct?

Life Force drives us forward; this energy can be shared; it brings vital forces together. But does this Force come from the union with one person or more than one?

I have many more questions – not a particular answer for anything. Only thing I know, I believe is that it indeed is very painful for all concerned...

My head spun for several days. It is so much easier to accept the shape of the earth as oblate spheroid and go on with life than go through own mind and others’ to understand the workings of the human mind, actually.

After all, the 4^th or the 5^th row in the Cinema was not too bad. Just that I had to re-position the anatomy to stretch my legs a bit forward and rest the neck firmly on the seat; in quite an awkward position! My brother gave the best tagline (seeing my contemplative face after the movie) that a ‘film is best seen and left in the theatre itself when we walk out.’ Sure, it is one good way of looking at all these 'global issues!'

We settled for some straight- from- the- pan hoppers and curries at a newly opened restaurant, and to my surprise, I was served Sri Lankan tea, Mlesna! Hurrah! Globalisation of tea has reached ‘Flavours’ in Trivandrum too. And we learnt that they have good service apartments, opened recently. Sure, the landscape and the spirit of the city are changing…

After thought: Since I keep talking to the Bee, I wonder whether I should put my title as To Bee or not to Bee! Pun indeed!

Where We Spend to Buy Pollution...

Back again. In god's own country. Spiraled through the staircases without much of a hassle - I mean at the airport. Hassle-free immigration procedures and free from the hawkish porters. Phew! What if the flight was a bit delayed. The rest of it went smoothly.

Two months away did make a difference which I could not but notice. While I left for the Emerald Island exactly two months and two days ago, some of the main roads were being tarred near my home town. What a relief it was to see the roads being widened ! The traffic was congested because of the work, and people willingly and patiently supported the road development.

Guess what! I plied through the same road just two days ago - and believe me, most of it had been washed away and the very same road is full of pits, broken edges, and huge trenches - you name the destruction, you have it there; right where your wheels screech and refuse to move! And it had just been a few months ago that it was done up! ( Ahem! We are Communisit, pro-poor, with high Human Development Index, High Literacy, High Cost of Living, High Everything...and believe me I am not the Devil's advocate - but a very ordinary Indo-Sri Lankan). The roads that looked almost carpeted a few months ago have gone to the dogs ( no insult to dogs meant here, by the way; for all I know they are such endearing animals). Well, whom to say all these? After all, transparency and accountability are ‘western’ concepts, you know.

A heavy bone-shaking journey took me to my home sweet home.

Grrrrrr. It is the temple festival season close by. This is one tradition that we have earnestly kept ever since its inception - that is our fervent love for the loudspeakers. Man! Ever since I could remember, the temple festivals were celebrated with as many loudspeakers as possible, and that too playing Malayalam film songs - old and new( when our religiosity is at its ultimate, we play even the Hindi hot numbers). Had always detested it; and was considered a freak in not being able to relate to 'community living.' Well, even after several years, it still continues to be a pain in the royal 'ass' for me; and what is even more bugging is that the funds for this tamasha are collected from the community itself. How on holy earth can one comprehend that we - the pensioners, doctors, engineers, teachers, bank employees, loiters, waiters, civil society etc etc- spend to buy pollution? And that too, in the name of God or Goddess? A religious pundit, if needed, may even trace the importance of noise, or the indelible mark it has left on the annals of our pre-historic times and the Indian mythology, to justify the blatant use of loudspeakers! And here I am trying to understand why Indians are in blissful love with noise of all sorts, in public places, on the roads, railway stations...

It is a happening place; all the time. 24x7. And the mobile phone has no rest or respite. Every other hour or even less, your phone's memory stomach is filled with garbage - which the modern times call as marketing gimmicks! I counted. Five for half a day - 'Download your favourite songs' 'Enhance your beauty' and mind you, every bloody thing you want to keep away from, you are constantly reminded of. End of story. Full stop! And each time when the phone beeps to indicate a message, you look at it, for a personal message from work, friend or family. But no, don't get it wrong. It is mostly a service provider to tell you about their new ring tone, or the tip to colour your hair!

For the three days and two nights I had been here, have not had electricity for one and half days. One has to understand the vagaries of the monsoon ( see, it is not our problem. Climate change is a new fad, and they say, it is due to over-exploitation of natural resources, and that too by the developed nations (that US mainly, you know) and we are seated, lounging languidly in our developing country status) and presume that many trees have fallen due to heavy rain and 'understand' the situation. Can't complain. It is candle lit dinner all along! After all, what can the government do ( and that too, pro-poor Communist in the State and Congress at the Centre) for regular power failure? Hmmm.

Never a dull moment here. One is made to think constantly. Not at the cost of finding light in the greener pastures, but being forced to contemplate why we cannot get simple things right! And furthermore, how on earth, this country still survives as a nation, with all its complexities and extremities? More on this later.

On the Ranges

Heavy rain, thunder and lightning and had been non-stop for the past 13 hours or so. Roads in Colombo are flooded; which happens invariably during the rainy season.

A few days back, had been to one of the most beautiful places in Sri Lanka, Riverston, which is 180 km away from Colombo, in the Central Province. This place boasts of the famous Knuckles ranges – which is the vast expanse of mountain ranges, as if they stretch to eternity. Foggy at times, clear in the next moment, shades of dark green and grey combine to create images as if the creator had sat with a special paint brush and done a tapestry and marveled every moment of his creation.

Having had the breakfast at a restaurant, by a riverside, where the ambiance and the tasteful architecture, were as appealing as the hot hoppers and the traditional Sri Lankan meal, we proceeded upward. Travelling up the hill country from Colombo is indeed a unique experience albeit the mounting traffic in Kandy - the citadel of culture, arts, history and scenic beauty – all combined. When the business of the city wanes, the quietude of the village sets in; at once.

Matale, a quiet Sri Lankan town, famous for its spices and cool weather is also facing change – roads are being widened in a large way; tractors, JCBs are all at work to connect with the rest of the country. They say, infrastructure development, especially the road network, is the first sign of marching towards development. So be it, for Sri Lanka, I wish, hope…

All of a sudden, you are the only traveler on the road ! Amazing. This is when the climb starts – numerous hair- pin bends always hold the suspense as to what it is to be next… The buzz of the wind – so clear and loud and the cool breeze on your face, and absolute quietude with yourself and the rest of the world as if nothing existed other than these ranges and your wanton thoughts … ! A perfect abandon it was just to stand at the top, watch the sky marrying the ranges, with a silent brook behind you…to feel light, unseen, unheard – stop thinking for a while and just feel... a drop or two of the drizzle on your face… so cold!

Somewhere far away there was a village school – girls in white uniform waved … and they were playing and screaming off in Tamil and had no care in the world while they played! They kept of waving until I went out of sight.

These ranges are mixed with tea gardens; a lonely tea plucker or two on the road, a few villagers who return from the jungles after plucking wild nelli are the only people found on the road to ask for the route. Life in the ranges must be hard for them, though it is a marvel for me. For a moment I wondered how these people manage their day- to- day living, in terms of medicines, schooling and all what it takes to live – day by day. Amazing it was – a few of them did have a mobile phone! Sure, they are connected with the rest of the world for 2 rupees per minute, or free outgoing – incoming call packages of N number of companies, whose lit-up, gigantic billboards provide immense illumination in Colombo in the nights.

There was a lonely restaurant with a perfect view that served lunch – no surprises; they were neither interested in the order placed nor interested in preparing the bill ! But sure, they were innocent villagers who aspire to be more enterprising. They had pure honey (made out of the Palm tree), when poured over curd makes one of the delicious Sri Lankan desserts. I bought a bottle; and was advised to keep it safely lest the bottle might burst (apparently signs of good honey; when bottled tight, bursts…!). Their warmth and hospitality surpassed their lack of business acumen and ‘edge’ that we hear all the time in the Metropolis. It was as if, the clock ticked very slow here…and no one wondered why!

Though a long journey for a day, the fatigue was never felt as it was a welcome change of scene – lots of contemplation, soothing Sufi music on the way, and nice chats with my friend, who took me all the way to show one of the most beautiful places in Sri Lanka…

Standing on top and watching the ranges gave a great sense of freedom. A greater sense of lightness. And a much greater feeling of humbleness.

Could not have spent a day in a better manner.